Time to take the GRRrrrr out of ANGER! Last week we talked a lot about the type of thinking that causes "Anger." We also mentioned that this can be engrained unconscious behaviour, from doing it so many times (often when younger), that it became a Habitual Pattern. This week we are going to talk about breaking this habitual pattern.

• We know that Anger is a normal emotion, dependant on our thoughts (past or present)
• We know that if it sticks around for longer than 15 minutes, it's ours!
• If we do Anger, only ourselves can change this behaviour and it is our responsibility!

We established that the type of thinking that causes or caused Anger is judgemental thoughts based on the conditioning and rules that we were genetically wired with and also those gained from our life experiences. There is nothing wrong with judgement. The mind is always going to judge based on your Beliefs, as a survival mechanism. So it is super important not to judge the judger, as it is a part of our make up. It is believing all these judgements and acting on them that is the problem. Just because you have a thought, this doesn't mean it is true or accurate and that you have to act on it! 

So to change Anger, we need to:

• Become more away of the thoughts we are thinking or the thoughts that have been triggered from our past.
• Be aware of our thoughts and the body sensations created by the thoughts and choose on purpose not to react to them
• Notice our should've / could've / If I'd thinking and change it.
• Start being gentle on ourselves and others, knowing we are all doing the best we can in any moment and acting the only way we can in any moment due to our Beliefs and Priorities
• Start looking at ourselves and others with softer eyes.
• Really drum it home to ourselves that another or ourselves can not be acting any different in the moment. We can only learn from this and then choose differently. So to think about this and keep wanting it to be another way will only cause Anger, which stresses ourselves and can have an adverse effect on others. Sometimes this Anger has major consequences.
• Accept that it is our own Anger, created by our own thinking (conscious or unconscious) and that absolutely no-one or nothing can make us Angry. We do this to ourselves.
• Understand that Anger has consequences on our mental, physical and spiritual health.

Here are a few techniques you can use to help yourself move from Anger to Acceptance. If Anger is an engrained habit you are going to have to repeat these techniques over and over again until Acceptance is your new engrained habit. Don't expect to do it a few times and you won't be an angry person anymore. 

Strategy 1

When you feel Angry, instead of running from it, you need to fully feel it. You need to lean into it! The truth is that what we call Anger is simply a Body Sensation caused by a chemical reaction, caused by what we were consciously or unconsciously thinking about.

1. Remove yourself from whatever seems to be the cause or trigger of your anger.
2. ​Focus on the Body Sensation and where you feel it in the body. Is it in your head? Your whole body or your chest?
3. What does it feel like. We know it feels very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to want to react. Is it hot or cold? Is it heavy or light? Is it moving or still? Is it tight or loose? Really observe this with a lot of interest, knowing that Anger is just a word for this Body Sensation. This Body Sensation cannot hurt you, it is just some chemicals reacting in your body. Yes! It is uncomfortable, though it cannot hurt you.
4. Observe and feel this, no matter how uncomfortable you are. Do your best not to react to it. Reacting means taking it out on someone, yourself, verbally or physically. You may need to take yourself on your own for this.
5. You could then take a walk in nature, do a meditation (if you don't know how, you need to learn!), do some exercise or breathing exercises. 

Strategy 2

Come back to your 5 Senses. What am I seeing? What am I hearing? What am I feeling (physically not emotionally)? What am I smelling? What am I tasting? This gets you out of your head and into your body. Then you could do Strategy 1 or Strategy 3 or 4.

Strategy 3

1. Get a piece of paper or a Journal
2. Ask yourself, "what must I be believing to be so angry about this." Write down these Beliefs and then change them.
3. Change them to accurate truths. Truths reflecting that you or others couldn't have acted any different in this moment. You or they were doing their best. You don't have to like it, though you do have to accept it, as this is the only truth. All that other thinking is based on conditioning and rules that you have learnt. In other words a rule that says "If this happens, that should happen!"

 Strategy 4

Practice Yoga or Meditation or Breathing Exercises. Take up Mindfulness. Links below for Mindfulness Blog:

Mindfulness Blog Part 1     http://renewhealthretreat.com/articles/mindfulness-and-calming-mind

Mindfulness Blog Part 2     http://renewhealthretreat.com/articles/mindfulness-and-calming-mind-part-2

Mindfulness Blog Part 3     http://renewhealthretreat.com/articles/mindfulness-and-calming-mind-part-3

Strategy 5

ASK FOR SUPPORT!

• Contact Renew Health Retreat...  http://renewhealthretreat.com/contact
• Contact a Anger Support Group
• Find a Counsellor, Psychologist, Life Mentor or other professional and ask for Help.
• Go to your GP

Practice, Practice Practice is all it takes to create new Healthy Habits! :-)